


The Crack Plague

by helliongoddess



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Crack, Fluff and Crack, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-10
Updated: 2007-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-11 15:22:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7897819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helliongoddess/pseuds/helliongoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nothing is more dangerous than Kanzeon Bosatsu when she's bored........</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Crack Plague

**Author's Note:**

> This was the very first piece of fanfiction I ever wrote, back in the Fall of 2007. It's got plenty of warts and booboos I see very clearly now, and I thought about polishing it up before posting it here. I decided not to, both for historical value, but even more so that other terrified (as I was) new writers about to post their first tentative efforts can see that it doesn't matter if there's a few bugs on the surface of your pond: what's most important is to just hold your nose and jump right in, the rest will take care of itself, with time and practice. Thanks for reading. hg
> 
> PS I will be posting more of my backlog of fics that I never got around to posting before life sideswiped me for the past couple of years. Some I may clean up, some not. So, as ever, forgive me my many flaws and know that all is done with love, if not perfect grammar and punctuation...... >

The Crack Plague

 

Kanzeon Bosatsu paced sullenly on the balcony overlooking her lotus pond. That was really the last straw. She and Jiroushin had been sniping at each other for several days, and he hadn’t fucked her for three nights now, which was the longest she had gone without sex in hundreds of years. She was really starting to climb the walls. Was the romance finally over? They had always had to keep it under wraps because of their difference in status, and the snarkiness of politics in Tenkai, but in private it had always been hotter than Genjo Sanzo’s pistol. But really, his last remark, before he stormed inside like a spoiled child, was just too much to be borne.

 

“What is your problem? Is it your time of the month or something?” he spat out before he stomped off.

 

As if! He of all people knew that was an impossibility, that her equipment didn’t work that way, that she was, well… different. He had always said before it was one of the things he loved about her. And how very sexist of him. Men!

 

She gazed down at the underworld below and thought about her beloved boys down there on their never-ending journey west. Some of them were getting close to finding real love in their own fumbling, bumbling way. She thought it was quite charming and had enjoyed watching every minute of their little journey of self-discovery so far. Her mind wandered over all the various faces and personalities she had gotten to know as she watched over the Sanzo-ikkou during their adventures and misadventures. She thought how few of them had any real romance in their lives, and how very sad that was.

 

Hmmm… she mused. It doesn’t take too much work on my part to fix that little problem, does it? She thought a minute about how best to go about it, and strolled to the edge of her balcony that gave her the best view of all those in the underworld she so loved to watch, and waved her arm regally.

 

Down below everyone had just been going about their lives, business as usual. At one particular moment on that one afternoon, everyone everywhere felt a frisson travel up their spines, and a feeling as if a warm breath had been blown lightly in their left ear. Most looked around briefly, slightly puzzled, before going back to whatever they were doing. Hakkai and Gojyo had been walking down the main street in yet another small town on the road, chatting idly. When they felt Kanzeon’s magic pass by they stopped dead in their tracks, eyes wide as saucers, silently rooted where they were for about three seconds. They then shook themselves as if suddenly awakened from a deep sleep and turned to face each other. “What the fuck was that?” they simultaneously gasped.

 

And then, life went on as usual.

 

Or did it?

 

Two Weeks Later

 

Gojyo bustled happily about their room in the inn setting things up for dinner. He carefully adjusted the lighting in the room and found some pleasant music on the little clock-radio by the bed. “I got the carryout honey, I hope you’re hungry! Cashew Chicken all right?”

“Sure. Sounds great,” came a muffled voice from the bathroom over the sound of water running.

“Can you believe it’s been two weeks already? I mean, you know, I fantasized about this for years, but I never thought it could be this wonderful, sweetie.”

“Me neither.”

“I mean, I’m just so damned happy, y’know? I always thought it would be hot if we got together, but I never thought I’d be this fucking stupid dumb-ass happy! Who knew?”

“Yeah, me too. Just shows you, you never know what’s going to happen, ne?”

Gojyo put some daisies in a little vase on the motel table. He wanted everything to be perfect for his new love. “Are you almost ready, angel? Don’t want the food to get cold.”

“Yeah, I’m coming,” Sanzo padded barefoot out of the bathroom in fresh jeans and a t-shirt, comb-tracks in his just-washed golden hair. He scooped Gojyo into his arms, pulled him close and kissed him fiercely. “Gods, I thought you’d never get back,” he growled when he finally let the beaming erogappa up for air. 

 

Meanwhile, at Houtou castle, things were going rather strangely in Gyokumen Koushu’s chambers, but perhaps even a little more strangely than usual. It seems Kanzeon’s spell had worked on their existing relationship in rather a strange way. It had cemented it, and they were now firmly entrenched in a deep need for each other that would never change, which could perhaps be defined as some kind of love, but…

 

“Mommy!” Ni was petulant, stomping his foot. For once, he was without his ever-present cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He did have his familiar stuffed bunny clutched in one hand, however.

“What?!” Lady Koushu impatiently replied. “What do you want now?!”

“Want Mommy!” Ni replied petulantly. He hitched up his oversized diaper, which was all he was wearing at the time other than a rather fetching baby bonnet tied in a bow beneath his stubbled chin.

“OH, all right, come here,” Gyokumen Koushu beckoned him to her. Dr. Ni toddled over and crawled up on her lap in her throne. He clutched at the top of her gown greedily, with a hungry look on his face.

“You know, this is going to get really really old sooner or later,” Lady Koushu sighed disgustedly as she pulled down the top of her gown and Dr. Ni started suckling. Of course while he mouthed her breast he had one hand sunk deep his in the front of his diaper. A trace of his signature smirk somehow still showed on the corners of his mouth as it clamped on her nipple.

 

Back at the Inn Goku and Lirin were cuddled up together like two chibi kittens on one of the couches in a more private corner of the lobby. “Oooh- I rilly rilly like those!” Lirin exclaimed excitedly, pointing. They were looking at mail order catalogs from companies specializing in shit-kicker boots.

“Yeah, those would look totally hot on you,” Goku said, looking up longingly in Lirin’s beautiful, big green eyes. “Next time I have some money I am gonna totally buy those for you,” he tentatively fondled Lirin’s bare knee on the cut-off side of her britches.

She put her hand over his and held it there, staring back into Goku’s deep golden eyes with a lusty hunger. “Oooh!… That feels so yummy. I knew I did this to my pants for some reason!” She giggled and kissed him deeply. Goku goggled and wobbled on the couch. “Let’s go eat,” she murmured seductively

 

Things were going quite happily in Cho Hakkai’s room of the inn. There was lightly-scented sandalwood incense burning, and a lovely pottery teapot filled with green tea and two matching cups rested on the bedside table. The only substantial light in the room came from the television, and two figures were watching while comfortably reclining in the bed, twined together and propped up on a pile of pillows. They were obviously quite entertained and amused by whatever was on the TV screen. A basket of seedless red grapes was on the bed and the couple was taking great delight in feeding them to each other when the commercials were on. 

“I never thought I could enjoy the television this much,” Hakkai said, with a wide and genuine smile. “I must thank you so very much for introducing this to me.” He kissed his lover fondly on the cheek. “This is really quite special,” he said and kissed her lightly on the other cheek.

“No, it is I that must thank you,” Yaone said, blushing and bringing his hand to her mouth and kissing his palm. “ While I had always found this entertaining, watching it with you like this has added a whole new dimension to it for me,” they kissed deeply, only to break their embrace when the music indicated to them that their program was beginning again.

Twined together naked in the bed Yaone and Hakkai laughed and giggled with the ecstasy of children. No one outside that room would ever hear either of them laugh so loudly or so merrily, as the silly antics of the two overly-polite cartoon chipmunks flickered across the television screen there in the darkened room.

 

Maybe it was due to some of the same bad juju that caused the Minus Wave, but Kanzeon’s spell just seemed to have stranger effects on some of the residents of Houtou Castle than it did on other folks. In one of the larger rooms of Lord Kougaiji’s quarters things had taken a slightly different twist.

“I always wondered what those were for,” Kou said, as he watched Dokugakuji carefully put his hands into the cast-iron shackles embedded in the brick wall. Of course he had first put soft padded leather cuffs on his Lord Kou’s wrists so they would not be scarred by his very first experience with bondage and discipline. 

“I thought you knew,” Doku said. “Old Gyumaoh had some serious kinks, man,” Doku continued, his hands trembling slightly as he put Kougaiji’s ankles in the appropriate restraints as well. “You’re still sure you want to go through with this….?” 

“Gods yes,” Kougaiji gasped. “You doing this to me is all I have been able to think about for the past two weeks now! Yes, yes, I want it! Now!” Kou’s large youkai hard-on was impossible to miss in the black leather thong that was all he was now wearing, having been stripped by his faithful servant before being put into his restraints. The larger demon had definitely noticed his lord’s aroused state.

Dokugakuji wiped a fine sheen of sweat from his brow. ”Is it hot in here?” He stifled a deep sigh. “Yes, my Lord, I have been thinking about you too… a lot…” He recovered himself a bit. He walked over to Kou and planted a long deep kiss on him. Lord Kougaiji squirmed against his restraints, so deep was his lust and his burning need to follow this new course with his servant, his soldier, and his friend. 

“You know, if I didn’t love you, I couldn’t do this, my Lord Kougaiji,” Doku said, so quietly it almost sounded like a prayer in the cold dank candle-lit room.

“I KNOW,” the frustrated demon prince growled between gritted teeth with his last shreds of patience.

At that Dokugakuji started slowly stripping off his own tunic, pants, and boots, maintaining his eye contact with Kou the entire time. Kou twisted his hips and groaned as he enjoyed a good long look at Doku’s heavily-muscled frame and the large pulsing erection that he now had as well. Dokugakuji took a folded pile of leather garments off of a nearby table and started putting them on. When he was finished he was covered in heavy studded leather from head to foot – the smell of the leather alone was almost enough to drive Kou over the edge from frenzy to his first climax. His dark slitted eyes burned with lust and frank need as he studied Doku intensely from under the locks of auburn hair that had fallen over his face.

Doku picked up a long black bullwhip from the end of the table and turned to face Kougaiji. “Now it begins.”

 

In a small room in the back of Ni’s laboratory, faint sounds of love could be heard if one listened closely. The door was closed to an obscure largely-empty and rarely-used exam room. Ni Jianyi had few patients these days and they usually ended up in large glass vats due to unfortunate circumstances, and when that stage was over he rarely wasted much time examining them before moving on to other victims.

“Oooh yes, ooh god I’ve waited so long for someone like you,” a female voice said. “Oh that feels good. It’s just that… no one here understands me.”

“I know how you feel,” a high-pitched voice, but a distinctly a male one, came through the door. “Here, let me take that off for you,” he offered suggestively.

“Omigod, you are so gorgeous,” she sighed. “I’ve never seen anyone like you before. Oooh!” She gasped as her lover obviously hit a sweet spot. “Where are you from, anyway?” She gasped breathily.

“Oh, I travel a lot,” he said softly. “My people don’t understand me either. It’s kind of lonely. I’m really glad I found you, though.” Quiet rustling sounds ensued.

“OOH!” She giggled. “Me too. Let me help you with those pants.” A zipper could be heard and then the soft swooshing of cloth. “OHMYGODS!” She exclaimed, “ you’ve got one hell of a…”

Suddenly Dr. Ni flung open the door and stood wide-eyed, gaping and smirking at the scene he took in before him. His assistant Dr. Hwang sat on the exam table, hair mussed, glasses missing, face quite flushed, and lips kiss-swollen. She was breathing heavily, her legs dangling, and she was as naked as the day she was born. Before her wrapped up in her arms stood a youngish man, reed thin, with tousled short white hair, huge eyes, and a faint sheepish smile. He was also bare-assed naked and was sporting an enormous erect cock. Ni noted with a curious smirk that beyond his generous genital endowments he was a rather unusual looking young man, with, the palest skin he had ever seen on a human being and the faintest hint of a tail showing on his backside where his tailbone should have been.

 

Kanzeon laughed.


End file.
